sarah531: (Default)

I've never been officially diagnosed with trichotillomania, unless it happened when I was little. (I'd have to ask my parents really.) But ever since I was a child, I've had a...weird relationship with my hair. I have vague memories of when I was younger, (seven? eight?) of my mum and one of her friends examining the bald patch I'd made in my hair. Ever since I can remember, I've picked up my hair, wound it round my finger (when I was really little, I used to wind it round my tongue...this was not something my parents or teachers appreciated. And yes, I used to eat it) and pulled it out. It used to be pulling it out at the roots, but now I just make a knot and pull out the knot. It just...feels good I guess? I don't know why.

And when I was a teenager, I loved pulling my eyebrows out at the roots with my fingers. I remember staying up one night hearing my parents argue, and in the morning a whole chunk of eyebrow was gone. I don't do that anymore, but...I liked it, and I probably still would. It was almost like a stress reliver.

I think it was something my parents worried about when I was growing up, because I have (again, pretty vague) memories of my parents making me get my hair cut short when I was about ten or so. Nothing really worked, though, I still pulled it out. And of course, it lasted well into adult life...remember this? (Remember keeping pulled-out hair in my pencilcase, not wanting to part from it? Remember when people found it? God, they must have thought I was such a disturbing twat.) Sigh.

I used to do it without even realising...I'd be watching a movie or something and afterwards, when I turned the lights back on, there'd just be hair everywhere. My laptop table at my parent's house used to have knots of hair scattered all over the carpet below it, which made me feel disgusting, even though I realise now I had no need to feel that way, it was just a...thing. My dad once commented loudly about the hair-mess at a school parents evening...I was mortified, but this other girl I barely knew (and still can't remember the name of) looked over and gave me a sympathetic sort of half-smile. I still remember that...

Anyway, a couple of years ago my boyfriend came up with the idea of getting a scarf with tassles, that I could pull out, that would feel like hair...and it actually worked pretty well. I still pull my hair out more than I'd like, but I've destroyed two scarves and kept my hair pretty much as good as I'll ever get it. (Anyone else tried this? Did it work?) It's awkward having to take a scarf around to friend's houses and on holidays and stuff, but...eh.

So, that's my Hair Story. Fun, eh?

(Don't judge my parents too harshly- there's a lot they didn't get, but they had to deal with so much awful stuff I'm constantly amazed they managed to do the good job they did.)

sarah531: ([sw] revenge of the siiiith)
I'm doing some research for a script I'm writing (expect a little_details post shortly) and I found...this. Please tell me it's not saying what I think it's saying. Tell me it's a rubbish joke. Tell me it's a satire. PLEASE
sarah531: ([drwho] married)
Steven Moffat, explaining why he had the Ponds have a baby: If you're a married couple and you don't have a kid, you're just dating. You think you're married, but you're just dating.

...

Riiiiiiiiiiight I'll go tell that to the married couple I know who don't know if they can ever have a baby or not.

Also the people I know who just plain never wanted kids. Was Verity Lambert never properly married? You're a good writer, Moffat, but please learn to think before you speak.
sarah531: (Default)
Being mental would probably be fun if not for the being mental bit
sarah531: (Default)
Sometimes I fear that all the truths we cling to depend greatly on our point of view.
sarah531: ([misc] madagascar penguins)
I like the works of Joss Whedon, honest to God I do. But there's just this one tiny little line of dialogue from Buffy that really did me in:

"But you doubt her motives, you think Buffy's all about the kill, then you take the little bus to battle."

Sounds a bit like "ride the short bus", which is - and I don't know how I know this despite being British, since it seems to be an American thing, but I do- basically shorthand for "you're mentally challenged." Because if you went to a specially equipped school, you rode a smaller bus. So: you doubt Buffy's motives- you ride the little bus- you have special educational needs- you're wrong, kid, wrong. It's not a million miles from that cruel word retard. You disagree with Buffy: you're retarded.

Or that's what I'm getting from it, and it infuriates me. Because I saw all this, my brother being kinda a SEN kid, and the other kids being cruel, and having complete strangers come up to me in the playground giggling about how our parents must have been brother and sister to produce a kid whose brain worked differently*, and having things thrown at us from moving buses, and not being invited to birthday parties and just all of it. And if even that attitude is reinforced even a little bit by Buffy and Whedon, that's just plain wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong.

I'm trying to get a job working with SEN (special educational needs) kids. I want them to have a better time than my brother and kids like him did.



*Also a great deal better than most people's
sarah531: (Default)
I sent my friend a link about unfair dismissal and what you can do to fight it, but I don't know what she'll do about it. I think her employers basically made up a lot of bullshit and sent her back to the job agency, and...sigh.

Also, this happened RIGHT IN MY HOME TOWN.
sarah531: (Default)
One of my friends had an epileptic fit at work. They fired her.

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